


Why I hate my life

by cdcharles97



Category: depression - Fandom
Genre: Depression, Why i hate living
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:42:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28114071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cdcharles97/pseuds/cdcharles97





	Why I hate my life

For the last 10 years, I've hated my life. Never successful with girls, poor finances, major depression, a mother who has berated me on multiple occasions, etc. I try so hard to be a good person, I try to be as nice as I can, but it's never enough. 

My friends and family have stopped worrying about my troubles, which is no surprise. This happens all the time. People get annoyed with me and decide that I'm not worth it. I've always felt like I wasn't worth any effort. Yet I go out of my way all the time to please others and make them feel important. I'm almost sick of it. But I guess this is karma for being a fucking dumbass. I've done alot of not-so-good things in the past. But I'm not gonna get into that. It'll just make me feel worse. 

As a boy, whenever I got hurt, I was told to suck it up. Sometimes I was even mocked for crying, by my own mother. So now I feel like I can't show emotions ever. I feel like my heart has been closed to many things and I can't open it back up. And anytime someone tried to help, they were always hard on me. I mean everyone! And everytime they do, I shut down. 

I've always been made fun of for my interests. Anime, video games, Japanese music, etc. On top of that, my mom basically told me that the last 12 years of playing baseball were a waste when I wanted to work as an umpire. So it's always felt like everything I do/did is always going to be a waste. 

I really don't like living. I feel like everyone is against me. No one feels bad for me. No one pities me. I feel like I'm fending for myself at all times. And no one comes to my aid. It's pure loneliness. Never had a girlfriend, and no girl wants to deal with me or give me a chance. It's very lonely, especially with covid. 

One final note, if God came down from heaven, and told me that I would never get a wife and child(ren), then I would immediately kms, regardless of what my other purpose in life would be. Because it would just prove my point of "Nothing ever goes my way". My biggest goal in life is to have a family of my own. If I never get that, then I see no reason for me to live. 

I doubt this makes everyone who reads this even care for me. Because pain and suffering is a competition. It never matters what I go through because others have it worse, so I can't complain


End file.
